So, Valentine’s Day is coming up. Which is, I know, just another one of those silly and completely unnecessary “holidays” that were invented solely to give us yet another reason to spend money. Nevertheless, it’s inevitably an annually occurring event which will, without a doubt, be rubbed in our faces no matter how hard we try to ignore it.
There’s the commercials reminding us (two months in advance) not to forget our special someone on Valentine’s Day, the bundles of roses stacked in buckets outside the florist, the chocolate hearts and the teddy bears towering over the tables in all the shops… Oh, heaven forbid we ignore the fact that it’s soon Valentine’s Day. Climb up and shout it over the rooftops!
The only reason I, reluctantly, bring up the subject is because it dawned on me the other day that I have never been acknowledged on Valentine’s Day. I know, I know. Boohoo, poor me. Here’s the thing though, I think that any day and every day is reason enough to express our appreciation for our significant others (and our loved ones in general). I also think that expressing our appreciation for someone through consumption or things is completely unnecessary. Showing love and affection is sure to make me ten times more weak in the knees than any roses, teddy bears, or diamond rings ever will.
However, I can’t help but be curious to know what it’s like to be acknowledged on this spectacular day. When I see girls running around all flushed and bothered, their arms hugging bundles of red roses, I can’t exactly say I know what it feels like.
I just think that (for exploratory purposes, of course) it would be nice to be acknowledged on Valentine’s day. You know, so I can knock it off my Bucket list. I wouldn’t mind the added bonus of, for once, not having to be reminded of how un-loved and extremely single I am every freakin’ February 14th.
I think I was a little bit too eager to get to the gym again after my cold. Feeling better (no sore throat for the first time in four days!) I skipped on over to the gym on Friday morning, and again yesterday. I naïvely thought I was fit for fight, but yesterday evening it hit me like an 18-wheeler. I felt absolutely wrecked, I could have easily passed out in bed by 8pm last night.
I woke up this morning feeling equally worn out, despite having slept a good 9 hours. I’ve reluctantly refrained from going to the gym today. Nothing puts me in a bad mood like being sick and it preventing me from doing the things I want to do. Waiting a cold out is so freaking tedious it drives me nuts!
I’ve tried to keep myself occupied during this unwanted lazy Sunday. I’ve been sketching some website layouts for a client I’m meeting on Tuesday, blogged a bit, and continued my writing, as always. Fingers crossed that this extra rest day will kick whatever is left of this cold out the door for good. Enough is enough.
For as long as I’ve been able to form sentences in writing, it’s been a hobby of mine. I’ve kept journals in both paper and digital form since I was a kid. I worked as a writer at several magazines before starting my education at University, and some of the assignments I enjoy the most at University are the ones that require me to do a lot of writing.
A couple of months ago, I came across the website 750words.com. Basically, the idea of 750words is to write 750 words worth of anything that comes to mind as a means to clear your mind and allow your creativity to flow throughout the rest of the day.
One of my favorite things about the site is that it gives you stats on your writing, for example how long it took you to get to 750 words (and thus how quick of a typist you are), how many words you’ve written in total throughout your time on the site, your quickest written entry, and how many words your longest entry had. It’s pretty interesting looking over the statistics.
It will of course come as no surprise to you that I joined and started writing the same day I found 750words. It’s become my routine to write every day. I’m now on a 66 day streak. In 66 days I have written a total of 69,316 words (my longest entry has 2,299 words). My quickest entry (time it took me to get to 750 words) was written in 9 minutes. I average 80 words per minute.
My mom is constantly encouraging me to put my writing into a book, but you know how moms are… I will however admit that the thought of one day maybe writing a book has long been in the back of my mind, but I haven’t had an idea for a book. At least, that was the case up until a couple of months ago when a couple of personal insights suddenly gave me an idea for a book. I’ve since been toying with the idea, brainstorming in my mind on my train rides to school.
Today I finally mustered up the courage to start penning my ideas, thoughts, and words for said book. To my surprise, the words came flooding out. Before I knew it I’d reached 3,000 words.
So far, it’s just an unstructured bunch of words. I have no idea what will become of it, or if it will ever be finished. For now I’m just enjoying the writing, but out of curiosity I googled how many pages in Word an average novel is, just so I know when I’m getting close. Apparently I’ve already wracked up a novel with the writing I’ve done on 750words.com. But, that’s a novel I’ll never let anyone read.
Day two of experiencing torture every time I swallow. I feel like I’m scarfing down handfuls of needles. All I can think about is how badly I want to go to the gym. The gym is most definitely my second home, so when I don’t go, I feel off. Going to the gym has become somewhat of an addiction for me, I guess, and has been so for the past 2-3 years. I can think of worse addictions.
I had to cancel both coffee with a friend this afternoon, and my plans to go to a museum with another friend this evening. Baah, can I just hurry up and get better now? This is wasting my precious time.
Anyone have a miracle cure for a sore throat or cold?
I woke up with a sore throat this morning. Isn’t it typical that a cold should strike down upon me when I’ve got such an exciting week ahead of me? From the looks of it now, I’m going to have to cancel my dates tomorrow afternoon.
Being sick is probably one of the most useless things I know. Ain’t nobody got time for that! It’s just such a road block. I reluctantly refrained from going to the gym this morning. All I can think about is going and working out. I really hope this cold passes quickly or I might go insane.
I hauled my butt to school today despite my sore throat to work on a speech with my class mate. The rest of this Monday evening has been spent dozing off and on and knocking back cough drops. I’ve had better Mondays.
Pictures from all over pinterest
I have so much I could say. My life is such a whirlwind right now. It’s exciting. I feel more alive – and eager to live - than I have in a very long time.
I have so many drafts saved on this blog of thoughts and words I’ll maybe never dare to publish here. I wish I had the courage to be more open in this blog and tell you about the new people who have come into my life lately. And about the other people who I’ve chosen to cut out of my life because they made me feel like I was worthless. And I don’t do worthless anymore.
If I had the courage, I’d elaborate on the interesting conversations I had late into the night on Friday as I grabbed a couple of beers with a new acquaintance. Or how wonderful it feels to finally (after 1.5 years at Uni) have found a group of girls in my class who I really enjoy hanging out with. I’d tell you about my workouts at the gym and the funny people I see and talk to there. And how some days I’ve felt so happy that I haven’t been able to refrain from smiling like a fool while sitting on the bus on my way home from school. And how my self-assurance has grown from the amazing experiences I’ve had, and the people I’ve met, this past month. I’d probably mention how I’ve confidently stood in front of my class and held two speeches recently without so much as a shiver in my voice. I’d maybe even muster up the courage to tell you that I still think about him, that it still hurts, but that I know what’s best for me. I know how I deserve to be treated and for that reason I will accept he is still on my mind, but know that he is not worth my time. I know that there is someone else out there who will treat me like I am worth everything.
And I’d say that it’s all these contrasts in my life that remind me that I’m alive.
My style is ever changing, ever evolving, ever undecided.
I don’t necessarily follow trends. I find that rather boring and unimaginative. If I like a trend then I’ll hop on the bandwagon, if not, then I won’t. Simple as that. A lot of the time, I find that a trend becomes completely uninteresting to me because it is just that - a trend, and for that reason everyone is wearing it.
My style is very dependent on what my life, and mood, is currently like. That’s what is so great about fashion, that it can express both who we are and how we feel. So what is my style like right at the moment? Dark and edgy. My wardrobe contains a lot of black and grey. My accessories are studded, my rings look like weapons. My heels are heavy, black and chunky. My nails are painted dark and my eyes are smokey.
No, I’m not going through some sort of depression. If I’m to analyze myself for a moment, I think this is some sort of expression of something that hit me a couple of weeks ago. The thought that I am worth it. I’m done with people putting me down. Done with people using me. And I’m done with always thinking that I’m to blame, or that I have done something wrong.
I am who I am, and I am worth it. And you are too!
Above: Grandpa is number 9 “Doc”
The above photos of my grandfather were taken last Thursday (Jan 17th, 2013) during his weekly hockey game. Reuters were there during his game to photograph and interview him, there’s an article about him here. I did mention he’s 90 years old, right? And he still plays hockey every single week!
I couldn’t be more proud of him. He’s such an inspiration and it makes me very happy that he’s staying active and getting such good exercise. He also goes for long bike rides during the summer, does all kinds of fixings on the house, and yard work – he’s got a fantastic vegetable garden that he’s grown himself!
He also sends me letters written on his type writer, a machine some of you may not even comprehend as the evolution of technology has replaced type writers with laptops, iPads, and SmartPhones. I love his type writer letters. I get email updates from his wife too, written from their iPad. Oh, and we’ve Face timed with them a number of times too. Gosh, my grandparents are pret-ty amazing.
Happy Birthday grandpa, I love you!
I’m finally, almost, just about, done with my third semester at Uni. We handed in our project today, and I handed in my individual report as well. I’m so relieved to have that out of the way, but I nearly peed my pants as I clicked the submit button. I’m always a little bit on edge about handing my work in, I have a tendency to feel like it’s not good enough. So I hold my breath until I get my grade (which means I hold my breath for a really long time sometimes).
In procrastinating school work the past week, I’ve curled my hair. Yeah, don’t ask. I have no idea. I also cleaned, and then made a mess again when B and S came over last weekend for dinner (when I totally should have been studying instead). Hangover from hell on Sunday which = me no study mucho. But, you know what they say. YOLO.
Tomorrow I’m meeting my group to prep the presentation of a lifetime (or something like that) and to sort out some constructive criticism for our fellow students. Friday is presentation time. Also, I seem to have tripple booked myself for Friday evening. One, I sortofalmost “promised” B and S that we’d go out on Friday night. Two, I found out my childhood bestie will be in town on Friday only. Three, AWOLNATION are having a concert and M is going and has invited me to tag along to a pre-party + the concert, and obviously I WANT TO GO. So, it kind of looks like three is happening.
I have so much more I could blabber about, but we’ll talk more later. Ok? Bye now.
You know when you’re upset about something, and you vent to someone about it. They tell you things to try to make you feel better. Tell you everything is going to be okay. They try to explain to you that things probably aren’t what you think. They try to give you hope and cheer you up. That’s lovely. But I’ve found that this kind of a reaction to my venting often frustrates me. And I think I figured out why that is.
My sister gets it. I emailed her the other day, going off on a vent about things that have been frustrating and putting me down lately. Her reply was exactly what I needed to hear. She didn’t try to smooth things over to make me feel better. She told it like it is. And it wasn’t that she wrote anything I hadn’t already been telling myself. What made all the difference was just that, that it was coming from someone other than me.
We can give ourselves the best of advice, but I often find that it’s hard to fully take those words of wisdom unless it’s coming from someone else. Someone who’s not right in the middle of it all. A bystander who has a completely different view of my situation. Someone who’s not affected by the thoughts going on in my head.
The best thing that happened today was that email I received from her. I’m going to go and read it again now.